Dear Mick
by Nymphadora-CullenBAU
Summary: Emily writes a letter to Mick before she leaves the BAU. For The-Vampire-Act's contest. Contains slight P/Re pairing.


_**I know I said I wasn't posting until after NYC, but I wanted to get this out ASAP.**_

_**I own nothing!**_

...

Dear Mick,

You are right. It was always my dream to work at the BAU. I had always hoped to become part of an elite team of profilers. What I hadn't realized was that I would gain a second family among them in the process. It didn't matter what the case was, or how horrible the UnSub, what mattered was that at the end of the day, there was always someone to talk to, a shoulder to lean on, a friend who would comfort you in the way all friends do.

But then I found something else. Something that I never expected to find. But it wasn't you. It was someone else.

I didn't realize that I loved him until that day in Texas, when he did something that probably would've killed him if he had been anyone else. I mean, who else just _hands_ their gun to their teammate, says, "Cover me," and walks out into the street, hands raised, and tries to talk down someone with an automatic rifle. You would say someone stupid. I would say someone brave, perhaps the bravest person I know.

Colorado was another milestone for me, for us. I knew he blamed himself for what had happened, for Cyrus beating me up. I still hear him whispering "I'm so sorry" whenever I'm alone. It sounds sad, filled with heartfelt emotion whenever you hear it, and I am always tempted to reach out and hug him whenever he says it. But when the chapel blew up that night, I thought it was over, that I would never see him or my friend Morgan again. But like a pair of phoenixes rising from the ashes, they appeared, and I… All I could think was that 'He's safe. He's alright.' That hug was, I think, the moment he realized what I was feeling. I put all my emotions into that hug. My pain, my fear and my love for him. And it was as if the universe had fallen into place.

As time went on, we cherished each moment we could spend away from the others. On cases, we made ourselves seem distant, aloof, more friends than lovers. But when we were together, it was as if the heavens opened up and the angels sang only for us. Simply for us.

We had our own fears and worries. He kept his distance after Matthew's death, lending his shoulder when I needed it. I found him in the church I stopped at while walking in the snow. He too, needed a jumpstart on his faith; he'd been feeling… lost ever since Georgia. I could understand that; any religious fanatic would make you wonder for a moment about your faith. Both our experiences with those UnSubs were different, to say the least. But if I had to choose, I would say his was the most graphic. Cryus didn't try to keep me locked in a shack for two days, drugging me and forcing me to confess any sins I may or may not have done. But neither Tobias nor his personalities tried to blow themselves up.

After Boston was when we came to each other, comforted each other. I spent the night at his place, hoping against hope that Foyet's escape was only a nightmare, a fear brought on by an overactive imagination. But when the morning dawned, I walked from the bedroom into the main part of the apartment he lived in to find the television on, and Foyet's face flashing at me. That was when he looked at me, admitting that he, too, wished that it had all been a nightmare.

After Adam Jackson, it was my turn to keep my distance. He was upset that he hadn't been able to free Adam, and that he hadn't seen the signs of Amanda when he was knew what the symptoms were, what they meant. I spent a week waiting with him, hoping that Adam would surface, so that we could help him; Morgan may not have understood, but I knew. It was how I had felt about Matthew. I had owed it to him, and I now owed it to the man who was looking for closure on the one case that still kept him up at night, the case that still gave him nightmares.

With Chad Brown and his Anthrax strain, I thought for sure that nothing bad would happen. I don't know what was worse, realizing that he had gone into the house, or finding out that the lab was clean and the house was an infested death trap. Rossi didn't want to tell Nichol's supervisor, but I would have rather died than watch him die. Of course I told Rossi to "Screw protocol." He confronted me in the elevator afterward, and told me what he knew. I admitted that it was the truth. Surprisingly, he kept my secret, saying that even though the fraternization rules had been because of him, it didn't mean that he could keep two of the agents he worked with from seeing each other. After he left the hospital, it seemed that his top three visitors had been, in no particular order, Morgan, Garcia… and me. I laughed when he revealed this to me.

I remember after the Myers case, I went to his hospital room where he sat with a brace around his leg and just glared at him for about thirty seconds. But if there's one thing I've learned, it was that you couldn't remain angry at him for very long. One look of his puppy-dog eyes, and I melted like chocolate.

By the time we meet, I was already his, and he was all I wanted. The reason I didn't go for you was not only because of your smart-alecky, cocky attitude. I didn't need another man like that; I had seen and known plenty with that similar mentality, and because someone already had a grip on my heart, someone who I knew I could trust with it. Though you are quite a catch, Mick, I have to admit that you are not my catch.

Now… Well, I guess I need to admit to you as to why I wrote this letter. It all started when I woke up about two weeks ago, sick as a dog. I had only experienced this once before, as a fifteen year old in Rome. But this time, I wanted it. I don't need to fit in; I've already created my own niche in the team. When I told him, he was ecstatic. We were both so happy; it was so… perfect, so right. It was the happiest moment of both our lives.

But how to tell the team. For the first time, he was at a loss, the young man whose mind I had fallen in love with. We couldn't wait until I was showing; that would give everything away. But we couldn't come out as a couple; with JJ, it had been different. Will hadn't been a member of the team, and though Rossi had already accepted us as a couple, we didn't know how the others would react. Especially Hotch.

But when we explained our predicament to Rossi, he admitted that we should tell the others. But I told them that I should quit. I explained to my shocked male co-workers that even when we came out with this knowledge, though Hotch would agree that we should stick together, Strauss would ask for one of us to transfer to another department. I decided that it would be me, of course. I was about to become a mother, and flying across the country wouldn't be good for our child if both the parents were on one side of the country, while he or she was on the other. Also, JJ's departure, and the events of the Billy Flynn case in Los Angeles forced us to see that the events of our cases were out of our hands, and the idea that one or both of us could die like Spicer made the possibility all the more real.

So as of the end of June, I will no longer be SSA Emily Prentiss of the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit. Actually, my last name will no longer be 'Prentiss.' Instead, I have agreed to start working in the Academy, teaching some of the profiling classes, as well as giving lessons on some of the various languages I know, like Arabic. And, this July, JJ, Will, myself and the rest of the team will go to Las Vegas for a wedding ceremony (Seeing as a planned wedding will probably be axed with some spur-of-the-moment case that needs the team's attention). I'm telling you this because I want you to come with us.

Mick, you will find the girl you've always wanted. It just isn't me. I've already given my heart to someone, a man who came along just before you did. I will admit, though, you are quite the charming fellow, but your ego leaves something to be desired. But I know there's someone out there for you, and she's waiting for you to sweep her off her feet.

I hope you will go far, Mick Rawson.

Your friend,

Emily Prentiss-Reid

...

_A/N: Please review and vote! See you when I get back! :D_

_*~N_CBAU~*_


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